


Come Together Over Me

by Tall_Tales



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cancer, Death Fic, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Original Character-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-19 23:18:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tall_Tales/pseuds/Tall_Tales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean are married and raising Bentley, their seven year old with a twelfth grade reading level and an I.Q. through the roof.  Castiel hasn't spoken to his siblings (Anna, Gabriel, Michael, and Luci) in years but, when Bentley is diagnosed with cancer, everything comes together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Together Over Me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Where I Cannot Find You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/465180) by [withoutawish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutawish/pseuds/withoutawish). 



"Cas, can you get Bentley up? It's almost time for breakfast!" Dean shouts from the kitchen, he's making bacon and probably burning it but Cas knows he would probably light the curtains on fire if he tried to cook. He folds his newspaper and sets it on the coffee table before walking down the hall and opening Bentley's bedroom door.

Bentley is seven, her room is light purple but she's pretty much covered it with homemade bookshelves and maps she and Dean bought from the ninety nine cent store down the street. Her desk is pushed against one wall, looking out the window into their tiny back garden. She left her crayons and a half-finished drawing of her teddy bear "The Captain" out from last night. Cas picks up a t-shirt and tosses it into the dirty laundry piling up in the basket.

Her bedside table has a small lamp balanced precariously beside an empty glass of water and an old copy of the adventures of Sherlock Holmes that he used to read to her when she was a baby. He remembers that after the three millionth recitation of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" Dean started reading to her from his anthology of demons, monsters, and demi-gods. They were all scary stories and Cas thought she'd start being afraid of monsters but she fell in love with them.

She read early, he remembered that. At three she could easily get through her Dr. Seuss books and she skipped up to Cas's leather bound copies of 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea, The Hobbit, anthologies of poems, and almost anything she could get her hands on. Cas ended up hiding the more violent or mature books in his closet but she found those too and tore through everything in the house within a few years.

"Bentley, time for breakfast. Your dad burned some bacon." Cas says but Bentley doesn't stir from her bed. "Bentley, stop messing around, breakfast time." She doesn't move and Cas walks to her bedside. "Bentley?" She's asleep but she doesn't seem to hear him. He reaches down and shakes her shoulder a little. She opens her eyes sleepily and yawns.

"Five more minutes."

"Dad is making breakfast for us. Let's go."

"Dad could burn orange juice if he tried. I'm tired, Papa." She rolls onto her back and Cas brushes a few strands of Dean's brown hair out of her face. Her forehead is hot against his fingers and her cheeks are bright pink. He presses the back of his hand against her forehead.

"Do you feel okay, Bentley?"

"My head hurts; I'm tired." She whispers and Cas nods.

"Go back to sleep, Bentley." He pulls the covers up to her chin and shuts the door as he leaves.

Dean is setting a plate of bacon on the table when he walks in.

"I hope you like extra crunchy because that's all we got." He smiles and looks around for Bentley.

"Bentley has a fever and a headache. I told her to go back to sleep." He says, picking up a mug of coffee and sitting at his place at one end of the table. "I'll give her something once she wakes up. Do we have any Tylenol?"

"I think so." Dean says absently.

They eat in relative silence. Cas takes his plate into the kitchen and starts on the dishes when Dean brushes by him and slides a hand along his back as he does. Cas tries to keep his sigh as quiet as possible and his smile as hidden as possible. He finishes the dishes and starts going through the medicine cabinet in search of some children's Tylenol. They haven't needed it since two years before when Bentley got a cold and was out of school for a day.

Cas reads the instructions twice, takes one pill and a glass of water and heads into Bentley's room. She rolls over to face him when he comes in. She makes a face and he rolls his eyes.

"Take the meds and you can go back to sleep." She doesn't argue with him today.

Bentley swallows the pills and settles back down on her pillows.

"Call me or Dad if you need anything, okay?" She nods and curls deeper into the blankets.

"Okay, Papa."

It's Saturday so Dean heads out to work on the impala while Cas gets his list together. Every weekend there is a list of tasks that have to be done, usually they put it all off until Sunday night then do them all in a rush. He always sits on the couch and reads it over.

This weekend:

-Mow the lawn

-Sweep the kitchen

-Vacuum the basement

-Buy groceries (refer to grocery list)

-Make sure Bentley does her homework

Then in Dean's hand writing:

-Tell Cas he's being a dildo with the lists

Cas smiles. Dean is outside in the driveway working on the impala like he does every Saturday morning. The neighbor across the street keeps flashing him a dirty look over his hedges. The guy is about eighty and extremely homophobic but he keeps most of his comments to himself and he stays away from Bentley which was always Cas's main concern. Then there's a ninety year old woman who keeps trying to set Dean up with her thirty five year old granddaughter despite the resistance of both parties. Everyone else is nice and doesn't treat them like a freak couple which is always good.

Cas puts off the list for an hour so he can finish his newspaper. He's working on the crossword puzzle when Bentley shuffles into the hallway. He folds it and sets it on the coffee table again.

"Bentley, are you hungry?" She shakes her head and shuffles toward him. She's still wearing plaid pajama pants and an old pink Floyd t-shirt from a million years ago. She climbs onto the couch and curls into his lap the way she always does when she's sick. He rests his chin on her head and wraps his arms around her but as his left arm tightens around her back, she cries out and flinches. He pulls away and lifts up the back of her shirt revealing angry black and purple bruises all over her back. Some of them smaller than grapes but the largest one covering most of her shoulder blade.

Cas turns her around and looks into her eyes seriously. She looks exactly like Dean. Same eyes, hair, nose, same mouth. He loves that but sometimes it makes it difficult to be angry at either one of them.

"Did somebody hit you?" Cas asks and by somebody he means Dean because Bentley is well liked at school and, even though he would never believe it if Dean had hit her, he remembers how Dean's fist can feel against a cheek. Bentley shakes her head and curls into his t-shirt. Her fingers curl into the fabric and she holds him like a lifeline. she's asleep by the second chorus of "Hey, Jude" and Cas takes her back to bed before going outside to talk to Dean.

He's half-way under the impala when Cas comes outside.

"Dean?" He asks timidly, throwing a glance at the neighbor across the street who glares at him.

"Yeah, babe?" He asks, rolling out from under the car, covered in grease and smiling.

"There's something wrong with Bentley."

An hour later, they're sitting in the pediatrician's waiting room. Everything is white and everything smells like disinfectant. Dean is talking to the receptionist while Cas holds Bentley on his lap. She's wearing blue jeans, red converse, a black t-shirt, and a red Stanford sweatshirt that Sam gave her a million years ago. She's got a blank and sad look on her face and she leans her head into Cas's chest. Toy Story 2 is playing on the little tv and they watch as Jessie and Bullseye play.

"Winchester?" A pretty young nurse says from the doorway. Cas carries Bentley into the examination room, she wraps her arms around his neck and rests her chin on his shoulder as Dean leads the way. The examination room is small with a soft table and a few chairs pressed against the walls and a poster of a grey kitten holding onto a tree branch with the words HANG IN THERE loudly emblazoned across the top.

Doctor Peerce comes in a few minutes later. It took Cas and Dean two weeks to find a pediatrician's office that would take them. Most said they didn't except their insurance but Dean and Cas knew the real reason… it was an unspoken rule that they never talked about it.

"Hi, Bentley, how are you feeling?" She says and Bentley yawns in response. "What symptoms does she have?" She asks Dean, who looks at Cas.

"Fever, runny nose, unusually tired, and she's got these bruises on her back." He turns Bentley around and lifts up the back of her hoodie and t-shirt to show Doctor Peerce the bruises. She looks at them carefully for a minute, scribbling on her note pad. "Do you have any idea what it could be?"

"I have a lot of ideas but I'd like to take a blood sample to be absolutely sure." Cas nods and she gets a needle and syringe out of the cabinet. Bentley holds absolutely still and looks away while her blood fills the tube. "We should have the results for you in a few minutes." She says cheerily but Cas can see she's worried about something. He wishes she'd tell him what it is.

They sit in the examination room and Bentley falls asleep against Cas again. Dean chewing on the inside of his cheek like he always does when he's nervous.

"Stop it, you'll get a sore." Cas says because he doesn't want to sound scared in front of Dean.

"Yes, mother." Dean nudges him with his elbow.

"This isn't funny, Dean. What if it's serious?"

"Then we will fix this." Dean wraps his arm around Cas's shoulders and kisses his temple. "We always fix this." Cas leans into Dean's shoulder.

"Yeah, we do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Leukemia."

That word passes through Dean and Cas's world like a ghost. It's the worst kind of disease. It doesn't just infect their daughter but it snatches at every aspect of their lives with long claws. Everywhere they look they see evidence of the cancer slowly poisoning their home with every new medication that appears in the cabinet, every packet and pamphlet piling on their coffee table, every bruise that appears on Bentley for no apparent reason.

Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.

It moves fast and gets worse quickly but most people survive it. Their hope doubles when they find a donor after a week; the doctors say they're lucky, Dean curses about luck when they get home.

It's a young woman from Chicago named Genie. Twenty five, strawberry blonde with pale blue eyes and a heart shaped face, pretty and kind. The Doctors explain that she'll give Bentley bone marrow, blood, and anything else she needs. There's a stack of paper work to sign and date and initial. The neighbors send casseroles to the house and Dean locks himself in their bedroom when he sees them.

The night after her diagnosis, Cas goes to bed early. He and Dean usually lie facing each other, wrapped in each other, their fingers and toes and legs intertwined but tonight he lies on his side and faces the wall; he doesn't want Dean to see his face. Dean comes in, changes into plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt, and crawls into bed beside Cas. Cas feels Dean's fingers brush his hip and he bites his lip.

Any other night, yes. God, yes. But not tonight. Any other night.

"We'll be okay." Dean whispers and Cas rolls over to face him. Dean looks just as bad as he does.

"Okay." He repeats and Dean kisses him. He tastes like the macaroni they had for dinner and the beer he had afterwards but Cas keeps kissing him until his chest hurts a little less then he pulls away and falls asleep leaning his head against Dean's chest.

Two weeks after diagnosis, they go in for the first blood transfusion. Genie's blood was brought to the hospital the day before so they had enough time to clean it and get it ready before Cas and Dean brought Bentley in.

A nurse kicks Cas and Dean out, helps Bentley change into a hospital gown, and puts in the I.V. When they are allowed back into the room, they find Bentley sitting up in bed poking grumpily at the grayish mush on the yellow tray.

"How are you feeling? How's the pain? Are you comfortable?" Cas says, fussing over her and adjusting everything.

"Cas. Leave her alone." Dean says, sitting down on a chair beside the bed. "Eat your breakfast." He says to Bentley but she leans back against the pillows.

"I'm not hungry."

"You've barely eaten anything for two weeks. Eat your breakfast." Dean says a little more forcefully but Bentley shakes her head. Dean rolls his eyes and sits on the edge of her bed. "What do I have to do to get you to eat?"

"If I eat it, I'll be sick."

"You are sick, kiddo." Dean says smiling and brushing her hair back with his fingers.

"Dean!" Cas hisses.

"You're right, you're right. I shouldn't talk about illness next to a sick person in a hospital."

"Dean!" Cas snaps again and Dean rolls his eyes, Bentley giggles.

"Will you eat your breakfast?"

"No." Dean sighs and throws his hands in the air. "I'm tired, Papa." Bentley says, rolling her head to look at Cas.

"Breakfast first." He says, arms folded across his chest.

"I'm so tired."

"Please eat." But Bentley's eyelids have already started to droop so Cas pulls the tray off her lap and sets it on the table beside her. Cas watches her sleep and Dean watches Cas watching her. He sees the darkening circles under his eyes and the way he blinks slowly trying to rest but not fall asleep. He's terrified. They're both terrified and there's nothing they can do but hope that she's absolutely normal in this respect.

Dean gets up and starts to leave, Cas glares at him.

"Where exactly do you think you're going?" He snaps.

"I'm going to call my brother, Cas. And I'm calling your family too. Bobby, Ellen, and Jo don't even know about this yet and if they don't know then I doubt your siblings do."

"My siblings don't want to talk to me or each other and I don't want to talk to them."

"Well, they deserve to know that their niece is sick." Dean snaps and then, to himself. "And you think I'm distant."

"I never said that!" Cas snaps defensively.

"Well, you think it loud enough for both of us!" Dean snaps back and he storms out of the room, Cas sighs and runs a hand over his face feeling old for the first time since his thirtieth birthday.

Cas sits with Bentley for a long time just listening to her breathing and the rhythmic beats and hums of the machines beside her. Like some sort of horrible futuristic symphony.

"O Brave New World." He mutters under his breath. One of the few books that Bentley has yet to tear through, one of the few he was able to hide successfully from her eager eyes and grabby fingers.

"Papa, where's Daddy?" Bentley whispers, her eyes still closed.

"He's calling the family, letting them know that you're sick."

"Are they coming here?"

"Maybe."

"Who did he call?"

"Bobby, Ellen, Jo, and Sam."

"What about Michael, Gabe, Luci, and Anna?"

"Them too."

"Are you still mad at them?" God, he forgot about that memory of hers. The last time he'd seen his siblings had been three years ago at a small family reunion. He'd hoped she'd forgotten about the gigantic fight she'd witnessed from Dean's side. He couldn't even remember what they'd started fighting about but once they got started they remembered how much they'd hated each other as children. They remembered old wrongs buried beneath time and other wrongs. They remembered why they never talked and why they'd all been reluctant to go to the family reunion and they'd had the biggest fight they'd ever had.

Cas runs tired hands over an old face and sighs.

"No."

"Are they still mad at each other?"

"I can't say, maybe, probably." Bentley nods and looks at the I.V. "How do you feel? Hungry?"

"No, my stomach hurts." She says weakly.

"Do you need anything? Do you want me to tell you a story?"

"No. Where's Daddy?"

"Calling the family."

"That doesn't take this long. Where's Daddy?"

"Calling the family, Bentley. Leave it alone."

"You're mad at him." She says, looking Cas in the eye. He remembers the time Dean was in the hospital after a nasty car wreck. He was okay but he looked at Cas in exactly the same way.

"He's a dick sometimes."

"Yeah, but he tries, Papa. I think he's afraid."

"Dean's never afraid, Bentley. You know that."

"He's afraid of some things."

"Like what?"

"Like losing people. He was afraid when Sam got the flu, when Jo went missing three years ago and turned up a week later completely fine in Oregon. He was afraid when you got pneumonia and couldn't get out of bed…"

"He wasn't afraid." Cas says interrupting her.

"Then why did he keep making hot chocolate and Tomato Rice Soup for you even when we ran out and he had to drive to the store for more? Why did he stay up all night with you even when you stopped throwing up and screaming in your sleep? Why did he sing you to sleep every night? And why did he talk to the doctors for hours while you were asleep always asking what else he could do? He was afraid of losing you." She says without looking away, Cas holds her gaze as long as he can before dropping his face into his hands again.

She was so much smarter than anyone gave her credit for. She didn't have a mind for school, for memorizing pointless facts, and reciting and spelling the same word over and over and over again. Her teachers constantly complained about her and she constantly struggled but at only seven she had torn through books high school seniors have trouble with. She watched and she understood people and things and she knew how to keep secrets. She's too clever for her own good.

"Papa?"

"Yeah?" Cas says tiredly.

"Are you afraid?"

"No, Benny, I'm not afraid."

"Yes, you are."

"What?"

"You only call me Benny when something bad happens or when you're afraid. Like when Daddy got in that car wreck last year or when Jo went missing or when I fell out of the tree in the backyard and broke my arm. You call me Benny when you're scared."

"I know."

"I love you, Papa." Bentley whispers, Cas brushes her hair out of her face.

Dean, Cas, and Bentley live in a little town fifteen minutes outside Cincinnati. Sam and his girlfriend, Ruby, live in Boston. Bobby and Ellen live on a half-dead vineyard in northern California. Jo lives with her roommate in Atlanta and they co-own a bar together. Michael lives in a big apartment in one of the nicest buildings in Manhattan. Anna is always on the road with her motorcycle gang. Gabriel does a stand-up routine and magic show in Las Vegas and Luci is a high school English teacher and part time librarian in a nice neighborhood in Portland.

Michael is the oldest, has been through three divorces, and has two teenage sons who hate his guts. He's a big shot lawyer in New York, the kind who wears a gold Rolex, Armani suits, keeps his black hair slicked back, and types furiously on the latest iPhone. Bentley has been to one of his weddings, though she was only two at the time so she doesn't remember very much. Cas thinks if he would just put his family ahead of his work once in a while he might be able to hold a marriage together for a little while.

His sons are twins from his first wife. They're sixteen now, honor students, athletes, with his looks and charm and their mom's natural kindness, they volunteer ten hours a week. Bentley has met them three times but the last time they got together she was three.

Gabriel and Anna are twins just slightly older than Cas. Gabriel is a joker with a natural talent for telling stories and making people laugh and he looks like a blond smiling version of Michael.  While Anna is tough as nails with a take-no-prisoners attitude toward life.  She joined a biker gang when she was eighteen and now she's all black leather and naturally red hair that Dean drunkenly flirted with a long time ago.

Then there's Lucifer, they call him Luci, the youngest. It's kind of funny that a guy who can hold a grudge for two decades can be so good with kids. Even though he can't stand his siblings he sent Bentley books every year for her birthday. It would always be the same books he was having his twelfth graders read. She would devour the books and write a short report about them for him to share with his class.

The Doctor comes in when Bentley is sleeping, he looks concerned and Cas wishes Dean were beside him.

"Mr. Winchester?"

"Uh, no. I'm Castiel Novak, Dean's husband." He says a bit too forcefully.

"Oh, sorry. Where is Mr. Winchester?"

"He's making a phone call. I can sign anything you need."

"Thank you, sir. You see… the blood transfusion isn't going to be enough. Her bone marrow is going to continue producing the leukemia cells so she'll need a bone marrow transplant but that won't be all either. She's going to need a kidney transplant on top of everything else."

"Okay. What about Chemotherapy?"

"That too."

"Okay."

"Your insurance covers most of this but the remainder will be expensive."

"Money isn't an issue." Cas says.

"We can do the bone marrow transplant and the kidney transplant at the same time. We'll get her on some new medication for two weeks and then do the surgery."

"Okay." Cas runs his hands over his face. The Doctor nods and starts to leave. "Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"What are the chances?"

"We caught this late, you know that, but we still have plenty of time. Eighty percent go through surgeries, chemo, take their meds and they're back on their feet within two years and running good as new within five. I'm Doctor Anderson, in case you need me." Cas nods as he leaves and Dean enters.

"What did he say?"

"New meds, bone marrow transplant, kidney transplant, chemo, eighty percent." Cas rattles off the facts still rubbing his eyes.

"Can we take her home?" Cas nods and Dean sighs.

"How are they?"

"Goodish… Bobby and Ellen are on the next flight out, same with Sam and I think Ruby's coming."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be civil. I promise." Dean says with an innocent little smile. He never liked Ruby. He doesn't like her attitude or the way she doesn't take his shit like Sam does. He hates seeing the little boy who couldn't tie his shoes with her because she is dangerous and funny with a tongue like a whip. He just doesn't like seeing little Sammy grow up and become a lawyer. He is afraid Sam will become a big shot like Michael and he'll end up tossed to the side like Cas.

"You sure you're okay?" Dean sits down beside Cas and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

"We'll be alright. I promise." Dean says hugging Cas into his chest. Cas smiles sadly and hopes he's right.

Sam and Ruby get in eight hours later. They trudge into the hospital tired and aching from the flight but with smiles on their faces. Sam crams himself through the door and hugs Dean the second he sees him. He's still gigantic. Six foot four with broad shoulders and tree trunk like arms to match his height. His hair is long and he looks good. Dean smiles up at his little brother.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks and Dean nods as Ruby hugs Cas and then him. Sam shakes Cas's hand and all four turn to Bentley who is asleep again. "You two look worse than us." Sam says and Ruby punches his arm gently. "Ow." He says blankly and she rolls her eyes at him.

"Have either of you slept or eaten lately?" Dean and Cas shake their heads and she rolls her eyes. "I'll get you something." She whips out her cellphone and starts scrolling through nearby restaurants that deliver. Dean opens his mouth to stop her but Sam shakes his head with a slightly fearful look on his face. Dean nods slowly and sits by Cas again with his arm around Cas's waist.

Bentley opens her eyes ten minutes later.

"Sammy?" She croaks and Sam kneels next to her bed.

"Hey, Ben, how're you feeling?" He asks as he gives her a kiss on the forehead. She blinks at him.

"Sick." She says and Cas leans into Dean who tightens his grip on Cas's waist. "How long am I going to be here, Papa?"

"A while." Cas croaks. "Dad's going to head back to the house soon; he'll bring you some of your books." Cas looks at Dean and he knows it's an order.

"Any requests?" Bentley thinks for a moment.

"The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It's blue with little black and white clouds on the front."

"Anything else?"

"Sherlock Holmes, it's old, burnt orange with a black spine and gold lettering."

"Okay, kiddo." Dean says, he gets up and puts his jacket on. "Sam, you want to come?" Sam shakes his furry head and Dean nods. "I'll be back in half an hour."

"I'll be back in fifteen." Ruby says. "I'm getting you two Chinese and you will eat it." She pulls on her sweatshirt and follows Dean outside.

"Papa?" Bentley says once they're gone.

"Yeah?"

"You look tired."

"I am."

"Please, sleep." She almost sounds like she's begging and Cas can't refuse her anything when she looks so weak.

"Okay, Benny. I'll sleep." He crosses the room and lays down on the cushion covered bench. He's asleep within five minutes effectively leaving Bentley and Sam alone.

"How are you?" Sam asks and Bentley looks really sad for the first time since the diagnosis.

"I'm scared, Sam." She whispers, he doesn't say anything. "I don't want to die." He eyes are red and Sam isn't sure if it's sickness or tears that did it.

"You're not going to."

"But you can't promise me that. Eighty percent chance that I'll make it but I could be part of that twenty percent."

"You are not going to die. I won't let you." Sam says taking her hand and she smiles weakly at him. "Do you remember what I told you on your first day of school, what to do if someone hurt you?"

"Tell you what happened."

"Why?"

"Because you'll make it okay."

"Why?"

"Because you're Sammy and Sammy makes everything okay, always." Bentley says, squeezing his hand when she says his name. Sam nods and smiles sadly.

"How're they doing?"

"Daddy's terrified. They don't sleep or eat and Papa keeps putting his face in his hands. The Doctor said I'm getting a new kidney." She says placing a hand on her upper stomach. Sam nods, he read up on leukemia on the plane. She's got a donor and she should be fine. "Sammy?"

"Yeah, Ben?"

"Can we play checkers?"

"Sure, anything you want."

Ruby and Dean return half an hour later, Ruby carrying a bag of Chinese takeout and complaining about traffic and Dean carrying Bentley's old rucksack, bulbous with the wonderful things inside. Bentley and Sam are still playing checkers and Cas is still asleep on the bench, covered in a hospital blanket. Cas wakes up when he hears Dean coming and Ruby makes them both sit down on the bench and eat Chinese food. The smell spreads across the room but it's better than disinfectant.

Sam gives the rucksack to Bentley and she starts pulling out the books and stacking them on the bed beside her. Dean packed her requests and a few other favorites including an anthology of poetry, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Luci sent her the British copy when he went to England for a teacher's conference) and her old book of fairy tales that she's had since the day she was born. Ellen and Bobby had given it to them the day they brought her home from the hospital and Cas read it to her every night until she could read it herself.

He also packed her old teddy bear who looks like a pirate due to a missing eye and several surgeries to reattach limbs and put his guts back inside his body. She named him The Captain and he hasn't left her side since Sam gave him to her for her first birthday. Bentley tucks The Captain into bed beside her and picks up The Fault in Our Stars. She hefts it in her hand for a few moments and opens it to a dog eared page near the back of the book. She smiles sadly and closes it again after a few minutes.

Dean and Cas are eating Chinese food on the bench and Sam and Ruby are quietly playing checkers in the corner.

"We each have a bunch of little infinities." Bentley thinks before a strike of pain hits her head again. She burrows down under the covers and pulls The Captain close, she begins to read from her book of fairy tales.

Bentley treasures that book more than any other. It taught her to read. It was the desire to know these stories for herself that made her start opening the book alone in her room and staring at those strange little squiggles that made such pretty words and such amazing stories come to life before her eyes. It was Cas reading them every night, running his finger along the words for her, that made her understand. That the short collection of squiggles with a half circle, a full circle, and a strange little circle with a hooked tail created the word Dog. A furry creature that ran around barking and wagging its tail and licking hands and faces.

She had spent countless nights awake with The Captain, forcing those strange squiggles to turn into words and reveal their secrets. Not long after, she found he didn't have to force the words to speak to her anymore. They meant something without her forcing them to. They bent to her will and she fell in love with those words.

She's halfway through Little Red Riding Hood, just as Red starts talking to the wolf, when Ellen Harvelle marches through the door with Bobby Singer in tow.

"Grandma, Grandpa!" Bentley exclaims. Ellen rushes forward and starts fussing over her like Cas usually does.

"Ellen, Ellen, she's fine." Dean says. "Ellen, you're worse than Cas!" Cas shoots him a look and Dean sticks out his tongue at him in response.

"Hey, kiddo, how're ya feeling?" Bobby says and Bentley smiles tiredly.

"Tired."

"Have you eaten anything?" Ellen says and Bentley shakes her head with a look of disgust.

"Not hungry."

"Doesn't matter." Is Ellen's response. Just then, the same nurse walks in and sets Bentley's hospital dinner on her lap. Baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and peaches with water. Bentley look like she's about to puke. "Benny, are you okay?" Bentley pushes the tray away and Ellen pushes it back. "You need to eat."

Bentley takes a reluctant bite of mashed potatoes. She manages to down most of it but she pushes the peaches away. Ellen smiles and the nurse returns taking the tray and Bentley's chart with her when she leaves. The Doctor comes in next. He removes the I.V. and explains to Cas and Dean that she needs to rest until the surgery in two weeks. No school, no sports, no over exertion of any kind. Then he gives them the proper paper work, the nurse gets Bentley into her clothes, and they go home.

Their house is large enough for everyone to stay there for as long as they want. Sam and Ruby insist on taking the pull out couch and Bobby and Ellen take the guest room. Sam gets his files emailed to him every day so he still gets paid for working "from home". Ruby works as a receptionist at an office with roll-over vacation days. She has more than three months saved up. Bobby and Ellen are retired but still making money off the living half of their vineyard. Dean and Cas still have to go to work every day and Bentley sees fear in Cas's eyes as he leaves every morning.

She spends her days reading, watching tv, drawing, and sleeping while Ellen and Ruby do everything in their power to get food into her. She takes her medication without question and doesn't complain about the pain no matter how bad she feels. Sometimes, she just sits in the living room reading while Sam works and Ruby makes dinner and Ellen cleans something that doesn't need cleaning and Bobby watches football.

Two weeks come and go, Bentley feels worse and worse as the medicine gets her body ready for a normally functioning kidney. The night before the surgery, Bentley wakes up in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat and shaking like a leaf. She changes clothes and lies down but she can't sleep. Cas packed her rucksack for her, several of her favorite books, a box of Legos, a photograph of the family (Sam, Cas, Dean, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Ruby, and Bentley), and a sketchbook with pencils. He laid out a pair of jeans, a shirt, jacket, and shoes for the next day and made sure she went to bed early.

Bentley sits back up and slips quietly into the hallway with The Captain tucked under her arm. The guestroom door is closed but she sees Ruby and Sam asleep on the couch in the living room. Sam is lying on his back with one arm hanging off the side of the couch and the other arm around Ruby's shoulders. She lies on her side and grips his t-shirt in her left hand. Their breathing is perfectly synced.

Bentley opens the door to her parents' room and sees Dean lying on his back and breathing slowly while Cas sits up in bed reading another Leukemia pamphlet. He looks at her and then at the clock on the wall.

"It's late. Why are you up?"

"I had a bad dream." Bentley says quietly. Cas puts the pamphlet on the bedside table and pats the bed beside him. Bentley smiles and climbs into the bed beside him. He wraps his arms around her and hugs her close.

"Do you want a story?" Cas asks but Bentley just buries her head deeper in his arms. He kisses her hair and holds her until she relaxes and falls asleep then he scoops her up, takes her back to her room, tucks her in, and says goodnight.

They walk into the hospital the next morning and meet Doctor Anderson in the lobby. He leads them into the elevator and up to the seventh floor, the pediatric ward.

Bentley gets her own room, number 34, where a pretty young nurse gets her changed out of her clothes and into her hospital gown. Cas and Dean come back in and Cas busies himself with folding her clothes, stacking everything neatly under the bed, and unpacking her rucksack. He piles the books and photos on the bedside table, sets the box of Legos on top and places The Captain beside them.

"There." He says triumphantly. "Just like home." He nods and settles down on the bench with a fake smile on his face. The Doctor comes in and addresses Bentley.

"Bentley, the surgery starts soon, okay?" She nods. "Don't be nervous. You'll get a shot and you'll fall asleep and when you wake up you'll have a new kidney." He says and Bentley smiles. "The stitches might itch or sting but you have to try not to touch them. If they hurt, just press this button." He holds up a small gray box with a red circular button on it. "Okay?" Bentley nods and Doctor Anderson smiles. "I'll be back in five minutes for you." Bentley nods as he leaves. Cas runs his hands over his face and Dean hopes he's okay but he doesn't ask.

"Ben, when you come out of surgery we'll have a surprise for you." Dean says sliding his hand around Cas's waist.

"What is it?" She asks and Cas rolls his eyes.

"If we tell you it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"

"I don't like surprises." Bentley says and Dean laughs while Cas brushes a strand of her hair out of her face.

"Well, we do." Dean says. "So, you're getting a surprise."

Doctor Anderson returns a few minutes later and gives Bentley a shot in her arm. She winces and starts to look sleepy almost instantly. Dean and Cas watch as they wheel her bed out of her room and down to the O.R. Cas drops a bitter tear.

"Are you okay?" Dean asks and Cas wipes it away furiously.

"I'm not crying." He sniffles and Dean hugs him. Dean holds Cas's head against his shoulder and kisses his mouth with everything he's got left. Cas sinks into it and grips Dean's jacket like a lifeline. Dean guides him to the bench and they sit together, Cas leaning his head on Dean's shoulder and Dean rubbing the small of his back because that's the only thing that can calm him down. A nurse comes in and tells them it will be at least two hours before Bentley comes out and another two before she wakes up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four hours later, Bentley opens her eyes to a familiar voice talking gently to her.

"So, Jasper was freaking out and I was trying to explain to him that Matilda the Bearded Lady was not also the lion tamer as John, that's the clown from earlier, had told him because he wanted Jack the Monkey to hand over the booze and stop driving drunk. I managed to explain to Jasper what was going on and that's when he agreed to help me win the Magician's Tourney as my lovely assistant. I even got him to go in drag. That was a good day." Bentley rolls her head to the side and sees Gabriel Novak leaning against the wall with his eyes closed and his hands behind head.

"I never believe your stories." She says and he opens his eyes with that smile that can win over a thousand people and make them want to see one more trick and throw just one more dollar.

"That's because I lie." He says leaning forward. "How old are you?"

"Seven." She replies, he raises his eyebrows and sighs at length.

"That makes me…what?" He starts counting on his fingers. "Forty one…forty two? I'm forty two! Christ!" He runs a hand over his slicked back blonde hair. "I forgot to mention. Sam, Dean, Ruby, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Anna, Michael, Cas, Luci, Aaron, and Josh are in the waiting room. I think it might turn into the Hunger Games if we wait any longer. I'll go get everyone." Aaron and Josh are Michael's sixteen year old sons; Bentley is surprised they're here.

Gabe leaves and returns with a dozen people all laughing and smiling despite the fact that each of them hates at least one other person in the room with all their heart and soul. Cas and Dean settle on the bench closest to her and Cas hands her the small gray box with the red button with a look that says "you might need this." She takes it and sets it on the bed beside her stomach as Jo comes in and hands over another box of Legos. Jo winks and Bentley sets the box on the table saying "thanks." Luci comes in with an armful of new books and stacks them on the floor.

"I expect full reports on each one, A grade stuff. I want three paragraphs each. At least ten sentences a paragraph. Good titles too. Identify allusions, metaphors, similes, foreshadowing, the hole ten yards. Got it, Soldier?" He says seriously and Bentley salutes.

"Yes, sir!" He smiles and kisses the top of her head. Michael comes in, typing on his iPhone as usual. Josh and Aaron sit as far from him as they can and keep tossing glares at his direction. Anna marches in wearing black motorcycle boots and a black leather jacket. She smiles at Bentley, shakes out her long dark red hair, and sits beside Gabe who is making up another story to entertain Josh and Aaron and keep them from focusing on Michael. Ellen starts fussing over Bentley again until Dean and Jo shoo her away.

A sharp sting of pain rips through Bentley's abdomen and she slams her hand into the button, getting instant relief. Cas looks worried but he always looks that way now.

They talk for what seems like hours. Eventually, Josh and Aaron stop throwing angry glances at Michael and Anna steals Michael's phone so he has to socialize. Gabe keeps making up stories and Jo keeps punching Dean's arm when he acts up. Bobby mutters "idjit" every few minutes and Ellen laughs at everything. Luci tells Bentley how his class reacted when they read her last report on The Catcher in the Rye, she laughs hard enough to hit the button again and Cas tells Luci to tone it down. Dean tells everyone that there's room for them all to stay at their house and slowly they start to leave each deciding to head back to the house and claim a spot. Dean asks Aaron and Josh if they need a ride but they're old enough to have licenses so they rented a car when they got in. Eventually, only Bentley, Cas, and Luci are left.

"I'm doing a video chat with my English class. Do you want to help?" Luci asks and Bentley nods excitedly. He pulls out his laptop and sits beside her on the bed. Skype opens and soon they can see a small classroom with twenty students seated at their desks. "Good morning, everyone!" Luci says brightly.

"Good morning, Mr. Novak." They mutter.

"Count off!" They count off in a rehearsed order from one to twenty. Everyone is present. "Good. Now, you've all read the book reports written by my niece, Bentley." A few nods of recognition. "Well, this is Bentley." He says, turning the computer so they can see her. She waves and a few of the girls in the class sigh at her absolute cuteness. "Bentley read The Fault in Our Stars three months ago and we just finished so because I'm here, instead of reading a report you actually get to ask questions. I want good questions, people! I don't want to hear yes or no questions. She's also going to ask you questions so be prepared! Colin, you're up."

They each ask their questions and Bentley answers with well-formed answers. Her questions stir up a heated debate about religion and God's will which Luci ends up mediating.

"Alright, alright! That's enough." He shouts at the camera and his class settles down. He whispers into Bentley's ear and she nods. "Bentley has leukemia, she just got a new kidney from her donor so things are looking up but there are a lot of kids who aren't nearly as lucky. The best thing you can do for another person is to become a blood donor. I'm not saying give up your left kidney but a little blood can be really helpful to anyone. Your homework is to volunteer at the local hospital in the pediatric cancer ward. There are forms on my desk which Dana will hand out. I want three hours each before class on Monday. Alright. Class dismissed. If you have a question you can reach me at 571-666-3425. Yes, it's hilarious now go outside or something." His class starts packing up and he closes his computer and hugs Bentley.

Bentley loves Uncle Luci more than her other uncles and aunts. He knows that she doesn't want a doll on Christmas, she wants a book or better yet to have a real conversation about books she's already read. He, like Cas and Dean, knows when she wants to be left alone or when she wants quiet for reading or when she wants to climb a tree. Luci used to be around more when Bentley was a toddler. He would read to her a lot then and she still remembers even though he doesn't know it.

He hangs around for a while, working on his computer.

"Luci, why don't you head home?" Cas says and Luci nods.

"Are you going home tonight?" He asks but Cas shakes his head.

"I'm going to stay here tonight. I let Dean know." Cas says and Luci smiles a little sadly, swings his bag onto his shoulder, and walks into the lobby. "Go to sleep, Bentley." Cas says and she pouts at him. "What?"

"Will you sing to me?" He nods, sits down on the bed, and pulls her frail form close to his chest.

"Hey, Jude." He sings but Bentley shakes her head.

"Something else, you always sing that. A new song." Cas thinks for a moment and then smiles.

"There's a faraway land so the stories all tell, somewhere beyond the horizon. If we can get there then all will be well. Troubles there are few; someday we'll go to…" Cas can't remember the name of the place so he hums the notes until he gets to the next verse. "They say breezes are warm there and people are kind. Maybe it's something like heaven. I close my eyes and I see in my mind: skies of bluest blue. I will take you to…" He hums the notes again. "I've had so much trouble finding my way there when I get close it disappears. If we can get there, we're gonna stay there. If it takes us miles, if it takes us years. High on a mountain or lost on the sea, sooner or later we'll find it. I have a picture of how it will be. On the day we do, troubles will be through, and I'll be home with you…" He looks down and sees Bentley asleep against his side. He kisses her hair and tucks her in with The Captain then sits on the bench and doesn't sleep.

Dean sneaks in at eight in the morning with a bag of muffins from the grocery store and two large coffees in his hands. He sets them on the table and looks at his little family. Cas is curled up on the bench, having only slept a few hours. He has dark bags on his eyes and his hair is spiked in every direction. Dean remembers their wedding. They wore matching black tuxedos and the guests hit them with handfuls of rice. They danced for hours and Dean whispered "I love you." And Cas pulled him close and whispered it back. They don't say those words anymore. Dean doesn't like to show affection in public. It's an unspoken rule of Dean and Cas that they don't say "I love you" that they don't kiss in public. The rules of Dean and Cas are unspoken but very clear and no one breaks them.

Dean thinks back to the day when they decided to have a baby. The day they agreed that Dean would be the biological parent. The day they found the perfect surrogate mother, Abby, and the day Bentley was born. She doesn't ask about her surrogate mother, she's not quite old enough to understand that it is biologically impossible for Dean and Cas to both be genetically related to her. Dean still has Abby's number, for the day when Bentley starts to ask, and he knows Abby is waiting for the call.

He grips his phone in his pocket and decides to wait. He'll call Abby only if the worst happens. But it won't so he won't have to call her.

He wakes Cas up and hands him the muffins and a coffee.

"How's everything at the house?" Cas asks with a yawn.

"Ellen has everything under control. No one's dead yet and everyone had a place to sleep last night." Cas furrows his eyebrows and Dean explains. "I forced Sam and Ruby to take our bed. Aaron and Josh shared the couch. Bobby and Ellen had the guest room again. Anna had an air mattress in the living room. Gabe, Michael, and I had air mattresses in the basement. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Cas says wiping the sleep out of his eyes. He cracks his back audibly. "I'm tired that's all." Dean runs a hand through Cas's jet black hair and Cas bats his hand away and leans against his shoulder.

The next two weeks are a blurred and muffled rotation of relatives and casseroles at the house. Michael heads home after a few days and Gabe is off to Vegas after a week. Luci gets a week and a half before leaving and Jo manages two whole weeks before the guilt sets in and she has to head back to help Ash. Josh and Aaron have to go home after two weeks because their mom is starting to get lonely in the house all by herself. Anna has to leave the day after Luci to catch her motorcycle gang in Chicago. Bobby and Ellen head home when a forest fire destroys a good chunk of their property but Sam and Ruby agree to stay and they end up basically living at the house while Dean and Cas sleep in the hospital.

When Bentley's recovery doesn't go as quickly as planned, they run more tests with horrible results.

"Her cancer is now in stage III. We're going to start on a new treatment plan for her." Cas and Dean look older and Bentley looks weaker. Her eyes aren't as vibrant a green and her cheeks aren't pink anymore. She keeps losing weight no matter how much she eats and she's tired all the time. She falls asleep by seven and Cas looks like he's about to die.

Dean takes Cas's hand and pulls him to his feet.

"Trust me." He whispers and Cas staggers behind him, down the hall, into the elevator, onto the street, and into a motel nearby.

Dean drags him up to their room and starts kissing him the second the door closes. Cas can't breathe and suddenly, he's on his back on the bed with Dean on top of him still kissing and starting to unbutton his shirt. Cas holds him back for long enough to take a breath before Dean pushes back and starts grinding his hips in.

"Dean! Stop!" Cas gasps and Dean sits back, dropping his weight onto Cas's hips and running his hands over Cas's pants. Cas tries to control his lower half but he can't and Dean smiles the second he feels it.

Dean dives into him again and strips off Cas's pants and shirt without taking a breath. He grinds his hips in and Cas tries to grind back but Dean puts more weight into him and he stops.

"Dean." He moans, Dean's only response is to press harder, kiss harder, and put more weight into his hips. Cas's hands migrate to Dean's waist and over his back, they tighten suddenly and Cas rolls on top pinning Dean's wrists to the bed. Dean smiles up at him.

"That's my boy." He says slowly and Cas breathes heavily but Dean recognizes it as a sigh. "You okay, babe?"

"I'm so tired, Dean." Cas whispers leaning so close to Dean's ear that he can feel Cas's lips and his hot breath against his skin. Cas half wants to stop and half wants nothing more than to keep going like the days before any of this when it was just the two of them in an empty house or in the impala or in a motel.

Cas closes his eyes and pushes everything away. It's only Dean and him and this room. This is the earth, the solar system, the galaxy, and the universe. It's all he wants in this moment. Dean is all he wants and he sinks into it and allows himself to drown.

And for that night, they are Schrödinger's cat in box. They are not wholly alive or dead because they do not even exist to the outside world and the outside world does not exist to them. But they exist to each other and that's all that matters.

Dean wakes up the next morning entangled in Cas. He lifts his head and just watches his boy sleeping. Cas's eyes flutter open and Dean kisses him, tasting hospital food and coffee on his lips. Cas rolls over and looks at the clock on the bedside table.

"Jesus Christ!" He shouts, jumping out of bed and scrambling into his clothes. Dean looks at the clock too. 9:02 am. Bentley will be awake and wondering where they are. Dean gets up and tries to find his underwear in the pile of clothes on the floor.

They race into Bentley's room exactly ten minutes later to find her asleep. (Thank, God!) Cas drops onto the bench and Dean drops beside him. Cas watches Bentley like a watch dog, ready to defend her at a moment's notice but without looking all that dangerous at all. He looks old and tired, like a soldier who's fought one too many battles and just keeps marching off to the next one. Dean wraps Cas in his arms and holds him against his chest for a long time, breaking another unspoken rule of Dean and Cas.

"I love you." Dean thinks because he's too afraid to say it. Those words are so dangerous to Dean. He's used them with exactly three people in his life. "I love you, Mommy." "I love you, Sammy." "I love you, Cas." The last time he used it was his wedding day. He realizes that he never said it to Bentley. It always seemed so obvious. She's his daughter, of course he loves her. Why say it? Why advertise it? That's why he doesn't say it to Cas anymore. Cas knows he loves him. Cas loves him back. Why should they bother saying a little three word phrase to each other to assert that?

Dean rubs the small of Cas's back and drinks in his scent, like watermelons and cinnamon, like that last day of summer when the smells of fall start to dance with those of summer. When dead leaves, pumpkin, and cinnamon dance with freshly mown grass, lemonade stands, and sunscreen; that's what Cas smells like and Dean loves it.

Bentley's eyes flutter open and she looks at Dean weakly. She looks worse than yesterday and she's about to start chemo.

"Cas, get up." He says, shaking Cas's shoulder. The man lifts his head, gets off Dean, and sits down beside Bentley.

"You look sick, Papa." She says, he runs his hand over her hair and kisses her the top of her head. "They said I'm doing chemo today." Cas nods and she nods too. She's read enough to know what's going to happen to her and Cas can read the fear in her eyes.

"It'll be okay. You have to be brave, okay?" Bentley nods as the doctor pops his head in.

"Five minutes."

"Are you scared?" Cas asks and Bentley nods. "When is the only time you can be brave?"

"When you're scared." Bentley says. Cas told her that whenever she was scared of the dark or had a nightmare. It's a lesson and it shaped a little of who she is, that's kind of cool.

Cas hugs her and brushes a strand of Dean's hair out of her face for probably the last time as a nurse comes in, helps her into a wheel chair, and takes her out of the room. Cas follows and Dean disappears again.

Bentley spends three hours throwing up and letting Cas brush away her hair as it falls out in chunks. She keep her eyes shut tight and refuses to look at her hair in the trash can or the vomit in the bin. She trusts Cas to place the bucket where it's needed and to pull her hair away so she won't have to feel it.

When it's over she crawls into Cas's lap and curls into his chest because there is no place on earth safer than Cas's lap. Cas wraps his arms around her as she places her bare head against his breast bone, waiting…

"When you try your best but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse. And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you." He sings softly to her as he feels his shirt getting a little wet next to her thin face. "And high up above or down below when you're too in love to let it go. But if you never try you'll never know just what you're worth. Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you." He stops and the nurses are smiling at him and Bentley is crying silently into his shirt.

"Shh, shh, Benny, I'm here. It's okay." He whispers and she looks up at him. It's Dean's eyes and face and she still looks as beautiful as the day she was born. She suddenly looks sick and Cas only just manages to get the bucket in front of her before she throws up again.

"Where's Daddy?" She coughs and he rubs her back.

"I don't know. Don't worry about it. How do you feel?"

"I want to die." She mutters and he pulls her away from his chest and looks into her eyes.

"Don't you ever say that. You are alive and I am going to do everything in this universe to make sure that we get through this, together." Bentley starts to cry and he just holds her for a long time, rubbing the small of her back which calms her down for some reason.

The nurse comes back, helps her into the chair, wheels her back to her room, and helps her into bed.

"Get some rest, Bentley." She says sweetly before disappearing.

"Papa?"

"Yeah?"

"It hurts." She croaks.

"I know, Bentley."

"Will you tell me a story?"

"Which one?"

"My favorite one." She says.

"And which is your favorite?"

"The one about the man who'd live forever."

"Why do you want to hear that?" Cas says because it's a sad story.

"Because it's sad."

"Why do want to be sad?"

"Because happy is easy but sad is big and complicated and so pretty and blue. Besides, I love that story." She says with a cough. He nods and thinks.

"Once upon a time, there was a man who would live forever but his eyes were heavy with the weight of all he'd seen. Forever…it's a long time. He was the last of his people. The very last one because all the others had died in a great war a thousand lifetimes ago. He was so lonely because no one could ever truly understand what he'd lost and given up and failed at and seen. He saw dinosaurs roaming the earth, men building pyramids, the walls of Rome crumbling down, travelers along the silk road. He's seen the battles of every war that had ever been fought. He'd comforted the dying and healed the sick and made so many friends in his adventures but, in the end, they all broke his hearts. Because, they left, or they forgot, or he had to send them away, and sometimes, they died. He was broken and lonely and angry and miserable and so very kind. Some said he was like fire and ice and rage and he was marvelous. They said he fell from the stars and that he was one of them, a shooting star racing across the universe. What happened next?"

"The girl who waited and the last roman."

"Right, it was the last centurion, Bentley." She nods and he continues. "Once, the man met a little girl with bright red hair and promised to take her on adventures with him. 'I'll be back in five minutes.' He said. And the little girl waited in her garden all night but he didn't return. She waited in her garden for twelve years until the day he returned. She was grown up when he returned and he barely recognized her. They had an adventure together and he disappeared again returning two years later, on the eve of the girl's wedding. But she went with him anyway."

"They returned a while later and her fiancé was still waiting for her. He had waited for two thousand years while she had her adventures with the man who would live forever. As a reward for his loyalty and love, the man asked him to come along. And the three of them went off and had the greatest adventures."

Bentley is asleep. Cas doesn't tell the end of the story because, unlike Bentley, he doesn't think sadness is pretty. He thinks it's sad and nothing less. She looks so much smaller now. She was always small for her age but now it's more pronounced as the disease strips away what little muscle she has. The door opens and Dean walks in like there's nothing wrong.

"How is she?"

"Where were you?!" Cas demands, suddenly on his feet but Dean doesn't say anything. "She was asking for you. She was terrified and you should have been there for her! What's the matter with you?" He shouts and Dean slams a hand over his mouth.

"Let's do this outside." He whispers nodding to Bentley. Cas throws him off and drags him into the hallway by his sleeve.

"Where were you?" Cas demands once they find an empty to hallway.

"I had to check in at work." Dean says.

"Work? Are you kidding me? Our baby was getting radiation pumped through her and spent three hours throwing up and losing her hair and you went to work?"

"I don't want to lose my job, Cas. I love my job."

"What is wrong with you?" Cas shouts before storming off.

Cas sits alone in the stairwell for a while, hating Dean's guts, hating Dean's stupid job, hating the cancer that's attacking Bentley, hating himself for not seeing it sooner. Cas sends up a silent prayer.

Hey God, I'm sorry I've been absent lately. I'm sure you know my daughter has Leukemia. I know it's a little much to ask for a miracle cure but please? If that's too much, I'd just like a little strength. Just a little more so I can get through the days with Dean. Can you make Dean understand that she loves him and she needs him even though he's never really been there? Thanks. Feed the hungry. Cure disease. Help my brothers stop fighting. Tell my sister that I love her and I'm really sorry for everything. Help Aaron and Joshua realize that Michael isn't all bad. Help Luci find that perfect girl. He wants a family, God. I guess you probably already knew that… anyways help him out. I know Dean doesn't believe in you but does that mean he doesn't get a prayer. I hope he does even if he doesn't use it. Thanks again.

Cas opens his eyes and starts walking down the stairs until a sign tells him he's reached the cafeteria. He walks in, sits down at a table, and rests for a minute before his phone vibrates with a text from Dean.

_Cas, where are you?_

_Bentley's awake._

_She crying for you, Cas._

Cas wants to throw the phone across the room and slam his chair into the ground but he settles for texting Dean back.

_Maybe your job can make her stop crying._

Dean doesn't respond for a while and, eventually, Cas decides to go back upstairs.

When he gets back, Bentley is asleep against Dean's side. A book is resting against his leg and he's rubbing the small of her back. He looks up as Cas enters.

"She always seemed to relax when you did this." Dean says as Cas comes closer and then breaks down against the bed. Cas starts sobbing into the mattress and Dean is at his side almost instantly, wrapping his arms around him, pulling Cas into his chest, and rubbing his back. "shh, shh."

"I love you, Dean Winchester." Cas whispers.

"I love you, Castiel Novak." Dean whispers back. "Don't cry." But Cas cries anyways because it's all he wants to do and then Dean is crying and they're holding each other like terrified children while their daughter sleeps above them. They cry until the feel numb and then they just sit on the floor together. Cas feels Dean's hand slip into his and he holds on until Bentley groans in pain then he's on his feet.

"It hurts." She mumbles and by "it" she doesn't mean the stitches, she means everything with blood flowing through it.

"I know, Benny." He says, holding her tiny hand in both of his. He knows she'll bruise if he squeezes to hard so he's careful. She looks worse than when he left and he begs God for help while Dean kneels beside him with his arm around Cas's shoulders.

"Papa?"

"Yeah, Benny?"

"Am I going to die?" She doesn't look scared, she wants to know.

"No, baby. I'm not going to let that happen." Cas says determinedly.

 

Dean calls Abby that night.

"Hello?"

"Abby?  This is Dean Winchester."

"Oh, hi, Dean.  What's up?"

"It's Bentley.  She... she's got leukemia and there's not much time.  Did you want to come see her?"  Silence.  "Abby?"

"Yeah, if that's alright.  I want to meet her."

Abby flies from her home in New York to Cincinatti and drives to hospital to meet her daughter.  She shakes their hands sadly and Dean realizes how much has changed in seven years.  They're all older now.  Abby isn't bouncy and excited to have a baby for them like she was.  Her jet black hair and blue eyes are duller now and she's more serious than she was.  Dean leads her into Room 34 where Bentley is playing with Cas and building legos.

"Bentley?"  Dean says gently and she looks up.  "This is Abby.  She's your mom."

"Oh.  So I do have a mom."

"Everyone has a mom, Bentley."  Cas says.

"Then which of you is my real dad.  You can't have two dads and one mom, right?"

"I'm your biological father but Cas is as much your dad as I am."  Dean asserts and she nods.  "Cas, can you help me with something?"  Cas nods and the two of them leave Abby and Bentley alone.

"Hi, Bentley."

"Hi, Abby.  Do you like legos?"  Abby nods and they keep working on the house Bentley was building.  They talk about books and school and work and Dean and Cas and Abby and Bentley and New York and Cincinatti, which is only ten minutes away by car, and Chicago and family and everything else.

Abby stays for three days and then decides to go home.  She tells them not to call her if the worst happens.  She doesn't want to know.

Bentley goes on life support two days later.

More words pass through Dean and Cas's shattered world.

"Lymphnodes."

"Stage IV."

"Grief counseling."

"Life support."

"Dying."

She doesn't look like Bentley anymore. Bentley is there; buried within the broken skeleton connected to innumerable machines with tubes snaking everywhere. Her breathing is done by a machine and her eyes don't open but the doctors say she can hear them. Cas reads to her and sings to her all the time. Dean tries to read to her but ends up just holding her hand while Cas reads. They cry a lot now.

"We need to think about pulling Bentley off life support." Doctor Anderson says in his office a week after she was put on it.

"No." Dean says.

"Dean."

"We're not killing her. I'm not giving up on her."

"Mr. Winchester, you need to understand that Bentley will never recover from this."

"But what if she does?"

"She won't. She'll live like that until the cancer kills her."

"Dean, please."

"I'm not killing her."

"It's about ending her suffering, Mr. Winchester. Your daughter is suffering. Her breathing is done by a machine. She can't sit up, open her eyes, or even feed herself. She never will again. You will save her a world of pain if you allow us to take her off life support."

"Can we have a minute, Doctor?" Cas asks politely and Anderson leaves. "Dean, we have to, for Bentley."

"I know but I don't want to."

"No one does but we have to do the right thing and help her, okay?" Dean nods.

They sign the necessary papers and the certificate of death and go to Bentley's room.

"Can I have a minute alone with her?" Dean asks and Cas steps outside but Dean speaks just loudly enough that Cas can hear him.

"Bentley, I'm so sorry. I screwed up, big time. You're so smart that I'm sure you already figured out that I'm terrified of losing anyone I love. It's true. I'm so scared of being left behing by people I love that I forget to love. I forget to love Cas because I'm so worried that he'll figure out I'm no good for him and he deserves better. I forget to love you because I always knew that you'd grow up and move away and have a life of you own. I'm sorry that I never told you how much I care about you. I love you, Bentley Mary Winchester. I love you more than anyone on this planet could understand except Cas. You and Cas are all I have and I know that you two know how stupid I am. I made mistakes, a lot of them. But I think I can fix one, just one, by saying this. I love you. I love Cas. I love Sam. I love Bobby and Ellen and Jo and I even love Ruby. I wouldn't last a day without anyone and I don't know how we're going to go on without you. But I know you us want to go on. To live. To be happy again someday. I'm going to try. Not for me but for you. I promise." Cas comes back in and they create a circle. Each holding one of Bentley's hands and each other's. They listen to the steady beeping turn into one long beat as she disappears.

~~~***~~~

One Week After

Dean and Cas sit alone in the funeral home wearing itchy suits, holding hands, and staring at the open casket. Bentley is wearing a beautiful dress that Ellen had in her closet. Light blue and simple and elegant and gorgeous. She isn't wearing a wig though they were asked if they wanted one. She's wearing a bit of makeup and she looks a bit like her old self again. Pink cheeks and lips and death breathing through every cell in her body.

"Mr. Winchester? Mr. Novak?" It's the young nurse from the hospital. She's wearing a dress and high heels and holding an envelope. "Bentley asked me to give this to you." She hands over the letter and walks away without another word. Cas opens it and begins to read.

Dear Papa and Daddy,

If you're reading this then the cancer has killed me and either I'm in heaven or paradise or I've been reincarnated into a mouse or something. Either way, I'm sorry. If all goes as planned, you're sitting in the funeral home right now staring at my open casket and wondering why the world is so cruel as to take one so young. A lot of people will have spoken at my funeral and a lot of people probably cried. They would have talked about how I'm in a better place now or how I was a gift to everyone I met and I will remain with them forever. I will live on in their hearts. Maybe I will. Maybe there will be a park bench named after me and a homeless man can have a bed for a night.

If all goes according to plan, I'm wearing a light blue dress and I don't have a wig on. Ellen didn't just happen to have that dress. I picked it. When I got very sick, she took my measurements and I picked out a dress and she was to make sure that I wore it when they put me underground. I asked Rachel (the nurse) to deliver this letter to you on the day of my funeral but only when you were alone. This is not only a good bye letter and a eulogy but also a last will and testament of Bentley Mary Winchester.

I have very few possessions but they are all important.

The Captain.

  * He was a faithful companion and reading partner since I was born and I'd like you to keep him. Put him on a shelf where he can observe the house and just live.



My journals and sketchbooks

  * You're free to peruse these as you wish. (There are a lot of them). I copied down the stories Papa would make up into some of these.



My books

  * These are the most important and I'd like Luci to have them. He taught me what a book was. He made me want to read and he deserves them more than anyone.



Everything else should be donated. Clothes, toys, games, everything except for the 63 dollars and 27 cents I have saved in a piggy bank which goes to the Make A Wish foundation.

A few parting notes.

Tell Aaron and Josh that Michael is stupid because he's their dad. He's not a bad person.

Tell Michael and Luci to make up already because fighting over something that happened twenty years ago is stupid.

Tell Gabe to stop goofing off and settle down. He wants to but he needs the push.

Tell Anna to stop running.

Tell Jo to stop hating.

Tell Ellen and Bobby to keep doing what they're doing because they've got it figured out.

Tell Sam to propose already because we're all getting tired of waiting for him to pop the question to Ruby.

Tell Ruby to say yes.

Tell each other that you are absolutely in love because you are and you shouldn't be afraid to say it.

Can you visit me every once in a while? Not a lot but sometimes. Just let me know what's going on and stuff.

I still have some room on this paper but I don't really know what to write. I'm not mad, or scared, or even sad about dying. I kind of wonder what it will be like. I kind of want to go to heaven and I kind of want to come back to you. I'll miss you if I'm able to and I'll forget you if I have to but I've learned a lot in the past few weeks. Nothing particularly profound but a few things.

I learned that family is always there for you. They have to be. I learned that one sick little kid can make brothers stop fighting and make old friends see each other again. Maybe that's worth something…Maybe not but it makes me happy to think about it.

So that's what I am right now. Happy because, in the Buddhist sense, I have been enlightened. I have a little more understanding of this earth than I did when I came into it and isn't that the point? Neil DeGrasse Tyson said he is "driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than he knew yesterday.  And lessen the suffering of others."

Papa, you never finished the story about the man who lives forever and I'm kind of glad that I didn't have to hear it because I can't remember it now. Maybe the point is that he doesn't really end even when he dies. Maybe none of us end when we die. Maybe we do. I guess I'll know when you're reading this but I don't know now. I'm not afraid of dying but I'm a little terrified of the world spinning on without me on it.

I know one thing for sure.

If I'm reincarnated into a mouse then I will be the happiest mouse on the entire planet.

Please try to be happy without me.

I love you.

-Bentley.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry that it had to end this way. But it had to end this way. Bentley had to die. I've been asked why multiple times and the answer is that it just had to happen that way. When I started writing this she had a chance to live but by the time she was diagnosed I knew she wasn't going to make it. It sucks but people die everyday. It's a sad story but, like Bentley said, sad is big and blue and pretty. Maybe Sad is like Happy for deep people. But I'm not deep so I wouldn't know. Anyway, Bentley died. I'll miss her and Dean and Cas will miss her but it's over now. Please, close this window, take a deep breath, get yourself a cup of tea, and remember that I wrote this. Some nobody on the internet and remember that I was aiming for tears and, by crying, you're really just giving me the response I needed. So don't cry.  
> In The Fault in Our Stars, Hazel Grace says that "I wanted to know that he would be okay if I died. I wanted to not be a grenade, to not be a malevolent force in the lives of people I loved." Andthat's the way Bentley saw things even if she never said it. She was terrified for her dads and her uncles and aunts and everyone she loved and a little scared for herself. She was a genious, deeply observant, and still, fictional.  
> Remember that  
> Okay?  
> Okay.  
> -Tall Tales


End file.
